What a Mom Wants

First Birthday!

So mostly, I thought we would do a mellow first birthday party for our daughter because really, is she going to remember any of it? But then I realized that the first birthday party is less of a birthday party and more of a coming out party for the parents. Namely, us! I mean, I would say that a party is in order if we are showering AND brushing our teeth on a regular basis and even on the same day sometimes. Also, I was able to score a haircut and even shaved my legs. Now if that doesn't deserve a party, I don't know what does.

So where to start? Well, I picked a theme first and I decided to go with Breakfast at Tiffany's. My daughter loves Truman Capote. (Ok, I am kidding. My daughter's name is Audrey so I thought it would be fun.) Also, it's a super great movie and book; and incorporates elegance, love, booze, NYC, lit and diamonds. Pretty tricky, but it works. I also decided to make it a champagne brunch - again, it's a party for mommy and daddy - and limit it to 3 hours at an off-site location close to home.

I was able to find a lot of great favors from Oriental Trading Company like old wayfarer knock offs that resembled the ones that Audrey Hepburn wears in the movie, sparkly rings, white feather boas and white satin gloves. These were great because some of the older kids and adults took them home as little souvenirs. Very cute!

I also found boxes in the Tiffany color (sometimes called Robin's Egg) and filled them with truffles and had them placed around the party space and of course, gave them out upon each guest's exit. Along with the truffles, I also gave out wallet-sized photos of my daughter enclosed in a silver-sparkly envelope that I found here. I also ordered some posters from the movie at allposters.com to bring the movie theme to the party. There are some great Martha Stewart products from Michael's for invitations, decor and embellishments, too. 

One of the best things I did was set up a play area for the kids. This kept them out of their parents hair and entertained them while we all mingled. I tried to have things that didn't have a lot of pieces that would get lost. We bought this fun Learning Home for Audrey for Christmas and that was a big hit with the kiddos - and it was great for a wide range of ages.

For food, I did the standard brunch faire - croissants, pastries, fruit, smoked salmon, bagels - and then had egg souffles as something a little special (and savory). I also had some kiddie snacks like goldfish and cookies. For drinks, I had mini-sizes of most everything - water, juice boxes, colas, ginger ale. And for sparkling options, I did Prosecco, an affordable (and tasty) alternative to Cook's (blech!), sparkling juices and orange juice.

I struggled with what we were going to do for cake. Was I going to pay $200 for a cake that fed 50 people (hellloooo-more people than were at our wedding) and looked like a Tiffany box or was I going to order cupcakes from Sprinkles for about the same price? First of all, cake sucks because you have to cut it, it usually tastes like crap and it's annoying. Cupcakes are super awesome, but then it's like $3 a cupcake if you order them from a bakery. That makes me want to scream! So I decided that it was easier and more cost effective to make them myself. I had some help frosting them the night before and we were able to transport them quite easily with the use of cookie sheets that have the lip around the perimeter. I was able to use food coloring to match the Tiffany color for the frosting. Details, ladies!

I ordered her birthday dress from Etsy which was completely adorable and I received sooooo many compliments on it. I have to admit, it was freaking cute. Etsy is great for all things special and I think a first birthday dress falls into that category for sure.

I also tried to control (somewhat) the gifts we received. I asked that if anyone wanted to bring a gift, that they bring a book for her growing library. There were some people that asked if they could buy clothes and that was perfectly fine with me, and we received a couple of toys, too - anyway, it was perfect. What I didn't want was a bunch of toys that we would be tripping over the minute we got home. Also, we didn't open gifts during the festivities, but did so after post-party naptime. That was great, too. No one wants to watch a one year old open gifts for two hours. Boooooooooooo-ring! 

Overall, I think it came off very well and it was great to get everyone together, family and friends, to celebrate the first year of our daughter's life. When it was all over, I am glad we went BIG and made it special. Our daughter and this past year's events have been very important to us - and we all deserved some time to catch up, b r e a t h e and have some fun together.   

- Kim

She Gets By With A Little Help From Her Friends

Last Friday, my daughter took her first steps. It was as if we were watching the super bowl and our fave team scored the winning touchdown. There was screaming, clapping, tackling of the poor girl and many, many kisses.

We have noticed that whenever our little bee hangs out with older babies, she picks up something. I am not talking about a cold, a stray toy or a stale goldfish cracker either. I am talking about skills to pay the bills, like eating with her hands, crawling and now, walking.

Back in December, my daughter was hanging out with her good friend Sawyer and he was eating part of his mom's carrot cake muffin (so YUM!) and my daughter was sort of eyeing him the whole time (I was eyeing him, too- I had finished mine). When we got home, she started picking up her cheerios like a champ! I know she was eagle-eyeing him to figure it out. And figure it out, she did.

And then in January, we were hanging out with Tess and her family and she was watching the boy crawl all over the darn place, pulling himself up, holding onto furniture and shaking what his mommy gave him. Well, we got home from our weekend visit and bam! Cruising! And a few weeks later, crawling. Now I am not sure that I can attribute the crawling to Tess' boy completely, but I will give him partial credit. The other portion of the credit goes to my husband because when he saw that our girl was cruising before walking, he was determined to have her crawling before walking, so every evening, he would get on his hands and knees and show her exactly what to do.

And then on Friday, we were hanging out with Sawyer again and that same evening, she took her first steps. Coincidence? I don't think so!

Now, I am not saying that you need to get your kids hitting the milestones A.S.A.P. or anything. I think kids will do what they need to do at their own pace and they are gonna be just fine, but I can't discount the influence of other babies (specifically, ahem, these young men ) in her age group. For some reason, she learns from them and I like that. Its good for her to see them do stuff and I think it builds her confidence in trying to attempt some of these very big-girl things. 

Anyway, I know they say that kids don't really interact or enjoy playing with other kids until the 18-month mark (tell that to my daughter who has been trying to tackle these two boys for the past 4 months), but I think it's a good thing. It's influenced her and honestly, we moms need to get together and commune over snacks and drinks from time to time anyway.

So what's next for this girl? Boys, you tell me!

- Kim 

Say Gouda!

My daughter is almost one year old. I honestly do not know where the time has gone. And then on the other hand it feels like our little family of three has always been skipping down the lane together. Well, a lot has happened in a year. She's rocking four teeth, size 4 diapers, self-feeding and just started cruising around the house. She is growing so fast and we find ourselves looking at each other wanting to put the brakes on.

We know we can't stop time, but we can try to capture as much of these moments as possible. We take a lot of pictures and short videos. But we don't want to go overboard either. So sometimes we just try to be in the moment and enjoy it for what it is.

We use the Canon PowerShot SD900, Digital Elph . It's small, but has a large viewing screen which helps us delete redundant photos before we download them. We definitely don't want to download 20 consecutive shots of our daughter eating her first Cheerio.

Eventually we will spring for a photo printer, but for now, I use Kodak Gallery (www.kodakgallery.com)  for printing and storage. I also use Kodak Gallery to make photo books once a year which include all of our best pictures of family and friends instead of using a traditional photo album. I plan on using it for our daughter's Baby Book, too. There is plenty of room for text and pictures and it's completely reprintable should anything ever happen to it.

I think more important than what technology you buy is your philosophy on taking pictures and video.

When taking pictures there are some simple rules, but here are the one's that peeve me the most. Don't cut people's heads off when taking group photos. Look at the frame of the photo for a split second and check for the annoying partial decapitation. Adjust flash for lighting. Just because it's nighttime, doesn't automatically mean you need the flash. And please, take the bib off!

If you are taking video, make it viewable. In my opinion, videos should be short and purposeful. I recently was subject to some home video watching and it was so shaky and sweeping, it was unwatchable. If you are going to pan from one area to another, do so s l o w l y. And don't try to make something happen because you are taking a video. If you do, you will have a video of your baby staring at you while you say, "Eat the cheerio. Come on, eat the che-e-e-e-erio. You just ate 10 cheerios, e-a-t the ch-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-erio!" With your child, you may want to try to be more candid. My daughter knows what the camera is and so sometimes, we have to sneak a video because if she sees us coming with the camera, she stops what she is doing, smiles and strikes a pose. She also wants to see whatever video or picture we've taken. It's pretty cute. Oh yeah, and pretty annoying when she won't give the camera back.

So have fun! Edit, edit, edit! And don't forget to share your pictures and videos with family and friends! This time isn't going by too quickly only for you - they want to make it last, too.

- Kim

Grateful, Warm, Lucky and Loved.

Tonight my little girl was getting kind of fussy (as she does from time to time) and when this happens, she usually starts yapping at us. We hear, "Wah! Wah! Wah!" But what she is actually saying is, "Buy me more plastic crap! I am bored with everything up in here."

So, I put her in the laundry basket and started pushing her around the house. She was quiet at first and then she started to really get into it. First came concern. She gets that from me. Is this safe? Is this laundry basket ISO 2009 certified? Then, her smile starts to creep at the corners of her mouth erupting into full belly laughs.

Yes, my husband was trying to fold the clothes (and I did not want to discourage this) - and this was definitely hindering progress, but she was having a good time. Laundry can wait, right? I can wear the same jeans and t-shirt that I have been wearing since the day she was born. Why should today be any different?

So, after a couple of rounds around the apartment, my legs were tired and I was kind of winded. Lame, for sure. Whose body is this anyway? And so I straightened up and I put my arms out and said, "Up?" This is the part where she will put her hands out for me to pick her up.

But no hands. She was still holding on, white-knuckles and all. She starts rocking back and forth. She wanted me to push her around again!

So I did - at the risk of pulling my hamstring and being on the DL for the next Gymboree class.

By the end of Round 3, I was hitting the inhaler and my husband was throwing in the towel from my corner.

And so she had a little fun before bed for the cost of the depreciation on our laundry basket.

And it made me realize, yet again, how little she needs to be happy. She loves her fun, brightly-colored, shiny plastic crap. She does. But she spends far more of her time playing with the basting brush and the whisk on the floor of the kitchen. Or her daddy's watch. Or this laptop (missing Alt-key and all).

It made me think of my parents and the things they "made do" with.  That's good stuff. No one has stories about how they got everything they ever wanted and how great it was. The best stories are the ones where you had to get creative, or when you didn't get what you wanted so you tried to make one out of PVC pipe (you don't want to know).

I want to give my little girl everything. An imagination, a value system and a have-to-have-it item here and there.  But most of all, I want to give her stories about her childhood that make her feel like I do now. Grateful, warm, lucky and loved.

- Kim

The Bus, the Baby and the MBA

So I was in New York City on business last week and I brought my husband and daughter with me. While I was stuck in meetings, seminars, classes and a girls bathroom line the size of Hands Across America, my husband took care of our daughter.

He toted her around town and she did great. She is urban-city-girl-extraordinaire and New Yorkers loved her. Yes, big scary New Yorkers. New Yorkers are kind, friendly people. Just don't expect them to blow sunshine up your bum. And I mean that in the kindest, uber-Californian, everyone-gets-a-trophy-for-participating kind of way.

Towards the end of the trip, we were happy with the way everything had turned out; but we were both burned out - on a lot of things. For example, I was burned out on optical people (my biz) and hotel food. My husband was burned out on diaper changes and teething shenanigans. We were ready to get home.

So as we sat on the bus that hauls all 800 of my company plus one husband plus one 9-month old baby girl to the airport, I see my Senior Vice President making his way down the aisle. Now this is a man who has a Harvard M.B.A. and intimidates the hell out of me. And it's not him. He is the most down-to-earth, kind person I've met. I just happen to say the most idiotic things when I am around him. He always disagrees with me. I feel like a complete idiot in his presence most of the time. So you can imagine my dilemma as he sits down in the seat across from me.

Will I say the most intelligent thing ever said by a project manager ever? Or will I say something that will only confirm his opinion that I am the most ridiculous employee-of-an-employee-that-reports-to-him in the world?

I introduce him to my husband and daughter. We chit chat. Marketing-blah-percentage-blah-sports-blah-blah. He sits back to read his paper. I attend to my daughter. Crisis averted. We are at status quo.

And then.

My daughter starts screaming. And there is an echo in the back of my head that is my husband about 15 minutes earlier asking me if we shouldn't make her a bottle to take on the bus. My husband looks at me and says, "She's hungry. Do you want me to give you your cover-up?"

"NO! I am not whipping my boob out in front of the man that holds my career in his hands! Hello! Promotion-killer!"

More screaming.

Now people are wondering where the baby comes from. Isn't this a business meeting? Who brought the ankle-biter?

Beads of sweat are building on my forehead. I think to myself, OK, I can be the mom with the scream-y kid, or the mom who nurses her baby 2-feet from the VP.

Tick-Tock. Tick-Tock.

"Give me the cover up!"

I get her under there, whip out the momma-love and baby is quiet and asleep in minutes.

And that's when the voices start.

Oh my god! You are not doing this. You are doing this. OMG! Every time he thinks of me, he is going to think of momma-Kim, not kicking-ass-and-taking-names-Kim. This is not good for the career! OK, how bad could this be? He has 3 kids...he seems progressive. Oh my god!

Well, anyway. It was over after what felt like several hours, but lasted about 10 minutes.

The moral of the story is triple-fold.

1. When your husband suggests a bottle, don't blow him off like he's new to this.

2. A Harvard MBA VP is no match for a hungry baby.

3. Life is humbling - never forget it.

I saw my Harvard MBA VP today at work. It's been a week since the "Boob Incident" as it has now been named. He asked me if I could get my hands on some information from my underground network (the group of people that actually get things done in my company) and I was able to do so - 20 minutes flat.

I'd say I'm now just a smidge above status quo. :)

- Kim

To Co-sleep or Not to Co-sleep

There is a lot of information out there about co-sleeping and how great it is. Co-sleep can mean a couple of different things. It can mean your baby sleeping in bed with you until she is 35 or it can mean your baby sleeping in your room until you feel just adequate enough a mother to take back your bedroom and send her off to her own room.

I am going to talk about the co-sleeper product that is essentially a bassinet that can be attached to your bed so that you don't have to get out of bed to feed your baby. Doesn't that sound luxurious? Your brand new baby starts crying and you just roll over, pull her into bed with you and when she's done, scoot her on back into her little co-sleeper and then back to la la land you go. We read so many reviews about how absolutely wonderful the co-sleeper was, it practically cured cancer.

Well, unfortunately, that's not how it works. There are a couple of things that get in the way of that fairy tale scenario. Well, there were a couple of things that got in the way for me, anyway.

First of all, if you have a vaginal delivery and you have any kind of tearing, the last thing you will want to do is scoot in and out of bed. Because remember, the bassinet will be blocking your exit. It can be pretty painful and no good for the stitches. I had the most desirable tearing (if you are going to tear at all, that is) and I thought it was excruciating.

Second of all, if you are nursing you will be nursing an hour at a time. Though you may be able to nurse your little one laying down, it's pretty difficult in the beginning. Your baby is so small and you have to be in the most optimal position to get her latched on (and save your nipples - bad latch means sore nipples) so in the beginning, it's a lot more comfortable and precise to nurse in the cradle position. You could bring the My Brest Friend into bed with you and even though it has great back support, it's not enough to do you for an hour. Also, you will want to watch TV or occupy your time so you aren't watching the clock.

You might also consider the sleeping person next to you.

Also, the co-sleeper uses a pack 'n' play type mattress which is not very comfortable. The mattress we bought for our baby's crib is outstanding. I noticed a considerable difference in my daughter's quality of sleep when we moved her to her own bed. I believe that a large part of it was the comfort of the mattress.

I also think that you have a tendency to keep each other awake. Whenever your baby stirs (about every hour), she doesn't necessarily need your assistance so you may react and try to feed her or comfort her when she doesn't need it, or if you don't get up to attend to her, it will wake you from your precious sleep without cause.

We had our daughter in her own room by 2 months. I would suggest that you move your baby to her room when you (1) feel comfortable with her being in her own room and (2) before she really is aware of her surroundings which is between 2 and 3 months. Whichever comes first.

I'm not saying that the co-sleeper is not going to work for you. It might be the best thing ever, but consider all of the possibilities before getting on the co-sleeper bandwagon. We wish we had. We ended up turning it around and putting it against the wall and didn't enjoy any of the touted benefits.

- Kim

Rub-A-Dub-Dub!

Well, I think if we have one thing working well in this house, it's bath time.

I was afraid that my daughter would be one of those kids that cried all through bath time, but I have to tell you, she loves water about as much as a Labrador retriever - and that's a whole bunch!

I think temperament has a lot to do with whether your baby will enjoy the bath or not, but I think there are also some things that you can do to improve the experience for the both of you. This is what I have figured out...

First of all, think about what you like about being in the bath tub. For me it's yummy smelling soap and shampoo, and plenty of warm water. I think one of the biggest mistakes you can make it putting your baby in a tepid, quarter-of-the-way-filled bath. Think about it. If it were you, you would be freezing and miserable. This is where the crying comes in.

Obviously, with newborn babies you have to take some precautions though. You can't fill the bath to her chin even if you wanted to - the baths aren't designed that way and of course, it isn't safe to do so - and you can't put scalding hot water in that thing either. What you can do, is make the water as warm as possible within the safe range (dip that elbow of yours!) and use wash cloths to keep her warm. I put my daughter in the bath and then put an adult-sized washcloth over her tummy and legs and pour the warm water over her every couple of minutes to keep her comfortable. As I wash her, I will lift the cloth to clean the different areas and then place it over her skin again when I am done.

My husband would often choose bath time for a photo shoot. That's how the covering up started in the first place. I just didn't think it was respectful of my daughter to have her private areas uploaded on Kodak Gallery. Anyway, the side benefit was that she was warm and comfy - who knew?

Also, if the AC is on or a window open, you will want to nix that. Even a breeze on a 75-degree day feels cold when you are in the water.

I also make sure that I have everything at the ready.

Bath tub. Check.

Two wash cloths. One full size for body cover, one mini for washing. Check.

Shampoo/Body Wash. Check.

Cup. Check.

Diaper. Check.

Hooded Towel. Check.

Large, folded bath towel to lay the hooded towel on, to lay the baby on (for comfort). Check.

Baby oil or lotion. Check.

Baby. Check.

I like to give my daughter a bath on the kitchen counter. That way we are close to each other's faces, my back doesn't hurt from bending over and it's easier to control your slippery baby since you can leverage your weight over her instead of under her. Always keep a hand on her, and if she's very young, you need to support that neck during the entire bath.

When washing your baby, you want to wash the face, without soap, first. Eye area, then rest of face. After the face is done, you can add just a little bit of soap and do the rest of the body. Do the diaper area last.

Then I wash her hair. Again, you only need a tiny bit of soap to get everything clean. Trust me. Your baby is laying around, eating and sleeping most of the time and isn't rolling around in the dirt or anything. There is no need to go crazy.

If your baby has cradle cap, before putting her in the bath, rub olive oil on the scalp and lift some of the scaly skin off with your finger or with a soft brush.  Shampooing alone will not do anything.

I like to keep the water and soap out of her eyes, even if it's tear-free. I may be shooting myself in the foot later with the potential of her not wanting to get her face wet when she's older, but I still think it's OK for now.

Also, if your baby is super-brand-new, you should put another hooded towel in the tub to keep her from slipping around. A lot of the baths have little foam pads in them to do the same thing, but I find that the towel works better. I flip the hood over the back of the tub to keep it in place. You will also need to use a towel if you bathe her in the kitchen sink or she will be all keystone cops in there.

When she's clean and rinsed, I take her out of the tub and put her on the large towel which I have folded into a sort of soft pad and which has the hooded towel on top of it. I put her head under the hood and wrap her and start patting her dry. This is the time where she will decide if she can hang in there or if she is cold and is going to cry. If she looks cold, I will hold her close to me for a couple of minutes to warm her up. If she's hanging in there, I get that diaper on her and moisturize her skin. I alternate between different kinds of moisturizers: oils, lotions, and cremes. I like the Burt's Baby Bee line the most. It smells yummy and it's all-natural. I steal some for myself all of the time. I use Aveeno on trouble spots like the back of the ear which tends to get dry, the elbows and any areas of patchy skin. When my daughter had baby acne, I used Aveeno on her face, ears and neck, too. It worked great! After she's diapered, lubed up and dry, I will take her to her changing table and finish her up with her clothes for the day.

You also want to be efficient and quick when giving your newborn a bath. 10 minutes tops. Anything longer and she will start to get frustrated. Don't worry, she will let you know when that time has come.

How often should you bathe her? I bathe my three-month old every other day, but I clean her diaper area and wipe down her face and chest two to three times per day. But you can bathe your baby as often as you like.

Finally, talk and sing to your baby during bath time. Make it fun. Maintain eye contact and show her that you are having a good time, too. She will take her cues from you. Remember, a happy mommy makes for a happy baby - even in the tub.

- Kim

Bumbo Boy

At two months old, I noticed the little guy was only turning his head to the right. He thought looking to the left was for suckers. I’d try and try to get him to look to the left but, no dice. If it was on the left side (even if it was something shiny!) he wasn’t interested. Which broke my liberal heart; no way could I have a teeny tiny republican on my hands!

So I chatted with our fantastic pediatrician about it and low and behold we had an answer. My son wasn’t hating on the left, he had Torticollis*. Ahhh ha!

So off to the little baby Physical Therapist we went. And the therapist introduced us to The Bumbo Seat . This seat is great because he can sit up and see the world but his head is un-supported. Unlike all the other products he’s in, carseat, floor, bouncy seat, swing, you get the idea he has support. Those items are great don’t get me wrong but it doesn’t make him use those muscles. When he’s in the Bumbo, he has to use all his neck muscles to look around and hold up that huge noggin of his.

At first it was hard work and he couldn’t be in it for very long. But since we’ve kicked Tortocolis to the curb, he loves that seat. We put him in it and put him on the table while we are eating dinner, we feed him in it, he plays in it, and I’ve even been known to put it in the tub for bath time/splash time.

- Tess

*a different story for a different time

Amnesia

OK, I know amnesia is a serious thing - on most soap operas, that is. I mean, you can keep a story line going for three decades if one or two of the main characters either die and come back from the dead, or suffer a bout of good ol' amnesia.

I think amnesia also does another very important thing - and I am talking about the real world now- and that's make you want to have another baby.

When I first became pregnant, I said to myself (and the toilet bowl I was throwing up in) "Never again!" I had the WORST morning-noon-and-night sickness. By the way, I loved it when my prenatal yoga teacher told me that I didn't have to be sick if I didn't want to. EFF YOU, LILLIAN! Like I c h o s e this? Ah man, I get pissed off just thinking about that. I was really sick. I tried EVERYTHING! I ate crackers, I listened to that lame CD, I ate and drank ginger, I tried acupuncture, Vitamin B6, blah blah blah. I did everything I could find on every website, in every book. I even got a prescription for Zofran from my doctor. Nothing cured my sickness. I was sick for about 22 weeks. I couldn't get out of bed, couldn't take a shower, couldn't take care of myself.

But I want to have another baby.

And then labor day came.

There were the white-knuckle contractions, the epidural, the internal checks (youch!), the pushing, the stitches, the drug withdrawals and the recovery. All of a sudden you have this little person in your arms and you say to yourself, "Holy shit! What did we do?" I can only describe the feeling as bittersweet. Your life is like a sea shore when you have a baby - a lot of the old things that you loved about your independence and coupledom washes out to sea and then with the next wave, you are given all of these new, unfamiliar things to explore and enjoy.

Sounds poetic doesn't it?

Well, it's not.

I had some postpartum depression, too. I was overwhelmed, withdrawn, emotional and weepy. I had a baby that needed to be attached to me for one hour, every hour and a half. I had a husband who was feeling the exact opposite of what I was feeling - he was elated, overjoyed, in love with his new family! I felt confused, helpless, and was dealing with my own recovery and the adjustments I now had to make. And this put a damper on what should have been a very special time for us. And I felt guilty about that.

As much as you want things to be equal, the sacrifices, the load of responsibility - they're not. As the mom, you carry the bulk. And I am not talking about how many diapers you both change, or who puts her to bed, etc. The largest load you carry is one that you can't see. There is something primal inside of you that makes you step up and direct your family where it needs to go. Your husband will look to you for guidance, and you will provide it. Your baby will express a need, and you will fill it. It takes some getting used to and it is a MAJOR adjustment.

And then even in light of all of that, I want to have another baby.

I remember walking around the mall, belly in tow, and there would be a mom with like 4 kids raising hell and I thought to myself, "She made that decision 4 times. She is crazy." But I can see why now. My baby is three months old as of tomorrow and once you get through those first couple of months, things are a lot easier. You have mastered getting both of you ready for the day. You enjoy the smiles and the coos. You know she is connecting with you every time you stick your tongues out at each other.  And it feels like it is going too fast.

So, even through all of the sickness, the headaches and heartaches, I want to have another baby. And that's where amnesia comes in. I look at my daughter and say to myself, "Honestly, maybe it wasn't all that bad?" And amnesia answers back, "Nah...it wasn't bad at all!"

- Kim

Breastfeeding 101

When I think of very funny things, I never think about breastfeeding.

It's work. Hard work. Especially in the beginning.

I am not going to get into all of the pros and cons, or weigh in on the debate. Eff that. We'll save that for when what you do with your breasts directly affects me - which will be never.

But if you are going to give it a try, here's what you need and what you need to know for the first month.

Ok, Creams. I used three different creams. Why three? Well, I figured if I kept them on a rotation then I would be getting something I needed that maybe I didn't know that I needed at least one-third of the time. The good news, I never suffered any of the cracked nipples that scared the bejesus out of me when I talked to friends. I used Palmers, Lansinoh and pure lanolin that the hospital gave me - all are safe for baby. I liked the lanolin quite a bit because it didn't stain anything, the texture was not as sticky as the other two and it smelled good. See if you can get a tube from the nurse. I don't need any of the creams now just because your nipples get conditioned after a while. But in the beginning, it helps keep them lubricated so that they don't split. You should know that the creams pretty much do nothing for the pain. So don't expect pain relief. That's what Motrin is for. We'll get into that later.

Oh also, they say to start conditioning your nipples with the cream before you deliver. I didn't do this so I don't know if it works. People also say that you can use extra breastmilk to rub on your nipples. The problem with that is you might not be producing a whole lot in the beginning and you want to save every drop for that little pumpkin of yours. Also, pumping in the beginning isn't the most pleasant experience. Why add that to the list of already unpleasant things you are dealing with?

Nursing pads. My good friend Tess sent me a plethora of these items because lucky her, she doesn't leak. Me on the other hand? Leak-a-palooza featuring Leak in Chains and Pearl Leak. Anyway, I tried the machine washable, reusable material kind, I saturated those is like 5 minutes. Forget those. The Lily-Padz, those I like because they are not only reusable, but they keep you from leaking altogether - not just absorb the leaks. The only problem with the Lily-Padz is that you can really only use them when you are feeding pretty regularly. If you try to use them overnight and your baby sleeps for a few hours (nice!), they sometimes pop off and then you leak all over yourself. They also feel really good. If you have sore nipples, they feel the best on your skin, better than the cotton pads.  The Lansinoh Ultra Soft Nursing Pads feel pretty good and are great for absorption and they are the only ones I really use right now. I need that absorption!

Nursing pillows. I have to go with My Brest Friend. You have back support, a pocket to keep a granola bar, your nursing pads, cream and your iPod. It has elbow rests and it puts your baby in the best postion for nursing.  It really is the best product. The back support is the best feature. Your tummy muscles are going to be jelly after you deliver which is going to put a lot of strain on your back. MyBrest Friend will keep from adding any additional aggravation to the area. The boppy is awkward and annoying. I don't recommend it for feeding, but you will use it later for other stuff. 

Breastfeeding uniform. I am referring to what you will be wearing. You will need quick and easy access to your breasts. No fiddling around with buttons or bras. My uniform is nursing bra, tank top and hooded sweatshirt. Pants are up to you. Wear what is comfortable. I suggest yoga pants or sweats for the first month. When I need to whip these things out, it's easy, I am covered up where I want to be covered up and it's easy to get in and out of. More importantly, you need to be comfy.

Pain relief. Two words. Mo. Trin. Don't mess around. Also, I bought gel patches for my breasts that I could either freeze for application after I fed my daughter or heat prior to feeding her to help with let down. You could use a bag of frozen peas, too, but these pads had a hole in the middle to fit your nipple through and applied the coolness/heat directly to the area around the nipple which gave the best relief. They also fit inside your bra better than a bag of peas. Again, I don't use these anymore, but they were extremely helpful in the beginning.

Entertainment. If you don't have TiVo or DVR service, you are screwed. There is nothing good on TV in the middle of the night unless you haven't bought Proactive yet. I recommend half-hour to hour long shows. If you don't watch or read something, you will stare at the clock in despair. I watched the Daily Show and the Colbert Report (both half-hour shows) because you need to laugh at 1 am even if it's about the country going to hell. I have no recommendations for the conservatives out there! Sorry! Also, magazines are good. Books, too. Nothing too heavy. Don't pick this time to read Grapes of Wrath. And don't worry, your baby will become a more efficient eater after several weeks and you won't need to entertain yourself anymore. You will have just enough time to marvel at your little creation and she'll be done.

Personal Servant. i.e. husband, mom, sister, friend. Your baby will be crying for you to feed her. She will not wake up and say to you, "No! Anytime you are ready! I can definitely wait until you grab a glass of water, a granola bar, your cream and pads, the remote, the nursing pillow, a burp rag and your feeding log! No problem!" You will try to have everything in one place, but alas 2-3 items will be missing. That's what your Personal Servant is for. Believe me, with what you are going through, it's the least he/she can do.

Patience. It's weird. You have an i n c r e d i b l e amount of patience when you are a new mom. You don't have any idea where it comes from. A couple of weeks before you deliver, you will scratch the eyes out of the waiter who cut your sandwich into triangles when you specifically requested trapezoids. But you have your baby, and you will try 75 times without frustration, to get the jammies buttoned with the snap closures synchronized. Bottom line: Breastfeeding requires patience. And if you haven't been blessed with the new mom patience, big deal! Maybe it's not for you. Don't feel bad. Your baby needs a happy mom first and foremost.

I can tell you that nursing was significantly easier at about the 5- to 6-week mark. They were the longest 5 to 6 weeks of my life, though. My incredibly supportive friends (thank you, girls!)and the products above got me through. I hope they are helpful to you, too.

I'll write about the wonderful world of engorgement in my next post! Stay tuned...

- Kim