To Co-sleep or Not to Co-sleep

There is a lot of information out there about co-sleeping and how great it is. Co-sleep can mean a couple of different things. It can mean your baby sleeping in bed with you until she is 35 or it can mean your baby sleeping in your room until you feel just adequate enough a mother to take back your bedroom and send her off to her own room.

I am going to talk about the co-sleeper product that is essentially a bassinet that can be attached to your bed so that you don't have to get out of bed to feed your baby. Doesn't that sound luxurious? Your brand new baby starts crying and you just roll over, pull her into bed with you and when she's done, scoot her on back into her little co-sleeper and then back to la la land you go. We read so many reviews about how absolutely wonderful the co-sleeper was, it practically cured cancer.

Well, unfortunately, that's not how it works. There are a couple of things that get in the way of that fairy tale scenario. Well, there were a couple of things that got in the way for me, anyway.

First of all, if you have a vaginal delivery and you have any kind of tearing, the last thing you will want to do is scoot in and out of bed. Because remember, the bassinet will be blocking your exit. It can be pretty painful and no good for the stitches. I had the most desirable tearing (if you are going to tear at all, that is) and I thought it was excruciating.

Second of all, if you are nursing you will be nursing an hour at a time. Though you may be able to nurse your little one laying down, it's pretty difficult in the beginning. Your baby is so small and you have to be in the most optimal position to get her latched on (and save your nipples - bad latch means sore nipples) so in the beginning, it's a lot more comfortable and precise to nurse in the cradle position. You could bring the My Brest Friend into bed with you and even though it has great back support, it's not enough to do you for an hour. Also, you will want to watch TV or occupy your time so you aren't watching the clock.

You might also consider the sleeping person next to you.

Also, the co-sleeper uses a pack 'n' play type mattress which is not very comfortable. The mattress we bought for our baby's crib is outstanding. I noticed a considerable difference in my daughter's quality of sleep when we moved her to her own bed. I believe that a large part of it was the comfort of the mattress.

I also think that you have a tendency to keep each other awake. Whenever your baby stirs (about every hour), she doesn't necessarily need your assistance so you may react and try to feed her or comfort her when she doesn't need it, or if you don't get up to attend to her, it will wake you from your precious sleep without cause.

We had our daughter in her own room by 2 months. I would suggest that you move your baby to her room when you (1) feel comfortable with her being in her own room and (2) before she really is aware of her surroundings which is between 2 and 3 months. Whichever comes first.

I'm not saying that the co-sleeper is not going to work for you. It might be the best thing ever, but consider all of the possibilities before getting on the co-sleeper bandwagon. We wish we had. We ended up turning it around and putting it against the wall and didn't enjoy any of the touted benefits.

- Kim