What a Mom Wants

Lipase and Breast Milk

I am shaking my fist at the mom gods right now...

I had to throw away about 50 bags of my precious breast milk gold this weekend because of some craziness with an enzyme that I produce too much of that makes my breast milk taste like Palmolive after a stint in the freezer.

Sounds like I made that up, doesn't it?

When I was researching breast milk storage, I had no idea that this could happen. I never came across anything that talked about my little problem - but I can tell you, if I would have known about the possibility, I would have tested my milk before pumping 50 bags. Serious, I can never get that time back. And at about 10 minutes per bag, that's 500 minutes divided by 60. OK, now I am really pissed off.

Well, this is what happened. My caregiver was giving my daughter bottles since I went back to work, but since we were having trouble with her taking the bottle (that's another story for another post), we used formula so it would be as different from breastfeeding as possible. As the bottle-taking improved, we decided to switch to the breast milk. For about a week, we gave her the most recently pumped milk, but then on Thursday of last week, we tried the frozen stuff - no dice!

When I got home, she had only drank 3 ounces for the entire day - very unusual. My girl likes to eat! And as a near 4-month old, she should be throwing back 30-40 ounces per day. So I decided to taste the milk and it was gross. Not sour, but kind of metallic and soapy. Anyway, I did some research and it turns out that some women produce too much of the enzyme Lipase and this speeds the breakdown of the fat in your breast milk - the fat, of course makes it taste good. As a result, you can only store your milk for short periods of time (it differs for all women with this problem) or you have to heat the milk until almost boiling, also known as scalding, (to kill the enzyme) and then store it. As long as your baby is getting some of the good stuff (i.e. directly from you) integrated with whatever you have heat-treated and stored, then they will be getting all of the nutrients they need. And by the way, there is nothing wrong with the breast milk if you have excess Lipase in your system - it's not harmful - it just tastes yucky and your baby will most likely give you the thumbs down if you try to feed it to her. Like mine did.

Wow, doesn't that sound fun? So now I get to lug my pump to work AND pump AND clean all the effing attachments AND heat the milk AND then get it into the bag AND freeze it? Wow, I was wondering what I was going to do with ALL my free time now that I'm a mom!

So, how do you know if you have this lovely enzyme problem? Here is how you can find out. Pump some milk and split it into two. Heat one portion until it is hot to the touch (scalded) either on the stove top or in the microwave. I know they say not to microwave it, but you have to heat the milk in order to kill this enzyme. Yes, it kills some of the good stuff, too. Put a portion each (of the unheated and heated) into the refrigerator. After 24 hours, test each of the portions. If the unheated tastes yucky or funky, but the heated portions taste fine, then you probably have the Lipase issue. If they both taste the same, wait a couple of days. Taste again. If the unheated one is skunked, hello Lipase!

I know that the last thing you want to do is have a breast milk tasting in your kitchen, but ah! The joys of motherhood. Believe me, you will be doing way grosser stuff as your child grows and matures.

Even if you don't have the Lipase problem, there are some things you should know about storage. There are 2 main brands of storage bags: Medela and Lansinoh. The Medela are great if you want to pump directly into the bag. The Lansinoh are great because you can store more milk per bag and there is a pour spout that works pretty well. Decide what's more important to you and then pick.

When you go to seal the bag, you want to squeeze out all of the excess air and place the bags in another Ziploc freezer bag in the center of the freezer. Newer refrigerators go through a defrost cycle in the freezer section and if your milk is butted up against the walls it will partially defrost and freeze again through each of the cycles. No good for your gold.

As far as storage times, check the bags for guidelines. They are all around the same duration, but as the bags differ in construction, you should go with whatever the bag you choose says. Usually, the storage times amount to a few days in the fridge, a few weeks in a freezer that does not have a separate door and a couple of months for a freezer with a separate door. Subzero freezers allow you to freeze for about 6 months.

To defrost, you can put your storage bag in a cup of warm water or run it under warm water. You can then throw into your bottle of choice and heat it to baby temp. Never try to heat the bag in the warmer or in a microwave. Bags are for storage only.

If you have the Lipase problem, like most things baby-related, you will need to do what's best for your family. Discover your personal storage times and stick by them, scald the milk if you need to for longer storage or supplement with formula. Figure out what works best for you and consider this Lipase-thing one more obstacle on the long road to the kids leaving for college.

- Kim

Rockabye Baby!

When I was still pregnant, I remember visiting my sister's house to spend time with her and her 1-year old son. We were hanging out in his room, talking about life (which was hardly much seeing as I was 8 months pregnant and she had a one year old), and my sister said,"Let's put on some music!" and I thought to myself, I like music...and then all of a sudden I heard what can only be described as a chorus of precocious, asking-you-a-bunch-of-questions-all-the-time sorta kids singing in that shout-slash-whine as they so often do, "Old MacDonald Had a Farm." My sister was clapping and singing along while my nephew, who was totally into it, was jumping around smiling his little face off. And me? I was trying to slit my wrists with the baby safe nail clippers.

Why does children's music have to be so super annoying?

I decided, right then and there, that this was not going to happen in my house. I didn't see any reason why my daughter couldn't listen to the Cure, the Smiths, the Clash - or anything else that I liked for that matter. These songs have great melodies and catchy hooks and I was about 99.9% sure that my daughter's first words were not going to be Girlfriend in a Coma. Maybe Love Cats, but I could handle that.

I still wanted to look around and see if there was anything else out there that a mom-like-me and a girl-like-her could listen to and still retain our indie street cred. That's when I found Rockabye Baby! records.

Essentially, the original copyrighted material of such artists as Beach Boys, Björk, Smashing Pumpkins, The Cure, The Ramones, Queens of the Stoneage, The Beatles and many, many more are stripped down into lullaby renditions. The music is beautiful and honestly, it's one more way to appreciate an artist that you already love while soothing your little thumbsucker at the same time.

I love it when someone looks at me incredulously and asks me,"Is that 'Karma Police' by Radiohead?"

Indeed it is!

- Kim

Rub-A-Dub-Dub!

Well, I think if we have one thing working well in this house, it's bath time.

I was afraid that my daughter would be one of those kids that cried all through bath time, but I have to tell you, she loves water about as much as a Labrador retriever - and that's a whole bunch!

I think temperament has a lot to do with whether your baby will enjoy the bath or not, but I think there are also some things that you can do to improve the experience for the both of you. This is what I have figured out...

First of all, think about what you like about being in the bath tub. For me it's yummy smelling soap and shampoo, and plenty of warm water. I think one of the biggest mistakes you can make it putting your baby in a tepid, quarter-of-the-way-filled bath. Think about it. If it were you, you would be freezing and miserable. This is where the crying comes in.

Obviously, with newborn babies you have to take some precautions though. You can't fill the bath to her chin even if you wanted to - the baths aren't designed that way and of course, it isn't safe to do so - and you can't put scalding hot water in that thing either. What you can do, is make the water as warm as possible within the safe range (dip that elbow of yours!) and use wash cloths to keep her warm. I put my daughter in the bath and then put an adult-sized washcloth over her tummy and legs and pour the warm water over her every couple of minutes to keep her comfortable. As I wash her, I will lift the cloth to clean the different areas and then place it over her skin again when I am done.

My husband would often choose bath time for a photo shoot. That's how the covering up started in the first place. I just didn't think it was respectful of my daughter to have her private areas uploaded on Kodak Gallery. Anyway, the side benefit was that she was warm and comfy - who knew?

Also, if the AC is on or a window open, you will want to nix that. Even a breeze on a 75-degree day feels cold when you are in the water.

I also make sure that I have everything at the ready.

Bath tub. Check.

Two wash cloths. One full size for body cover, one mini for washing. Check.

Shampoo/Body Wash. Check.

Cup. Check.

Diaper. Check.

Hooded Towel. Check.

Large, folded bath towel to lay the hooded towel on, to lay the baby on (for comfort). Check.

Baby oil or lotion. Check.

Baby. Check.

I like to give my daughter a bath on the kitchen counter. That way we are close to each other's faces, my back doesn't hurt from bending over and it's easier to control your slippery baby since you can leverage your weight over her instead of under her. Always keep a hand on her, and if she's very young, you need to support that neck during the entire bath.

When washing your baby, you want to wash the face, without soap, first. Eye area, then rest of face. After the face is done, you can add just a little bit of soap and do the rest of the body. Do the diaper area last.

Then I wash her hair. Again, you only need a tiny bit of soap to get everything clean. Trust me. Your baby is laying around, eating and sleeping most of the time and isn't rolling around in the dirt or anything. There is no need to go crazy.

If your baby has cradle cap, before putting her in the bath, rub olive oil on the scalp and lift some of the scaly skin off with your finger or with a soft brush.  Shampooing alone will not do anything.

I like to keep the water and soap out of her eyes, even if it's tear-free. I may be shooting myself in the foot later with the potential of her not wanting to get her face wet when she's older, but I still think it's OK for now.

Also, if your baby is super-brand-new, you should put another hooded towel in the tub to keep her from slipping around. A lot of the baths have little foam pads in them to do the same thing, but I find that the towel works better. I flip the hood over the back of the tub to keep it in place. You will also need to use a towel if you bathe her in the kitchen sink or she will be all keystone cops in there.

When she's clean and rinsed, I take her out of the tub and put her on the large towel which I have folded into a sort of soft pad and which has the hooded towel on top of it. I put her head under the hood and wrap her and start patting her dry. This is the time where she will decide if she can hang in there or if she is cold and is going to cry. If she looks cold, I will hold her close to me for a couple of minutes to warm her up. If she's hanging in there, I get that diaper on her and moisturize her skin. I alternate between different kinds of moisturizers: oils, lotions, and cremes. I like the Burt's Baby Bee line the most. It smells yummy and it's all-natural. I steal some for myself all of the time. I use Aveeno on trouble spots like the back of the ear which tends to get dry, the elbows and any areas of patchy skin. When my daughter had baby acne, I used Aveeno on her face, ears and neck, too. It worked great! After she's diapered, lubed up and dry, I will take her to her changing table and finish her up with her clothes for the day.

You also want to be efficient and quick when giving your newborn a bath. 10 minutes tops. Anything longer and she will start to get frustrated. Don't worry, she will let you know when that time has come.

How often should you bathe her? I bathe my three-month old every other day, but I clean her diaper area and wipe down her face and chest two to three times per day. But you can bathe your baby as often as you like.

Finally, talk and sing to your baby during bath time. Make it fun. Maintain eye contact and show her that you are having a good time, too. She will take her cues from you. Remember, a happy mommy makes for a happy baby - even in the tub.

- Kim

Bumbo Boy

At two months old, I noticed the little guy was only turning his head to the right. He thought looking to the left was for suckers. I’d try and try to get him to look to the left but, no dice. If it was on the left side (even if it was something shiny!) he wasn’t interested. Which broke my liberal heart; no way could I have a teeny tiny republican on my hands!

So I chatted with our fantastic pediatrician about it and low and behold we had an answer. My son wasn’t hating on the left, he had Torticollis*. Ahhh ha!

So off to the little baby Physical Therapist we went. And the therapist introduced us to The Bumbo Seat . This seat is great because he can sit up and see the world but his head is un-supported. Unlike all the other products he’s in, carseat, floor, bouncy seat, swing, you get the idea he has support. Those items are great don’t get me wrong but it doesn’t make him use those muscles. When he’s in the Bumbo, he has to use all his neck muscles to look around and hold up that huge noggin of his.

At first it was hard work and he couldn’t be in it for very long. But since we’ve kicked Tortocolis to the curb, he loves that seat. We put him in it and put him on the table while we are eating dinner, we feed him in it, he plays in it, and I’ve even been known to put it in the tub for bath time/splash time.

- Tess

*a different story for a different time

Amnesia

OK, I know amnesia is a serious thing - on most soap operas, that is. I mean, you can keep a story line going for three decades if one or two of the main characters either die and come back from the dead, or suffer a bout of good ol' amnesia.

I think amnesia also does another very important thing - and I am talking about the real world now- and that's make you want to have another baby.

When I first became pregnant, I said to myself (and the toilet bowl I was throwing up in) "Never again!" I had the WORST morning-noon-and-night sickness. By the way, I loved it when my prenatal yoga teacher told me that I didn't have to be sick if I didn't want to. EFF YOU, LILLIAN! Like I c h o s e this? Ah man, I get pissed off just thinking about that. I was really sick. I tried EVERYTHING! I ate crackers, I listened to that lame CD, I ate and drank ginger, I tried acupuncture, Vitamin B6, blah blah blah. I did everything I could find on every website, in every book. I even got a prescription for Zofran from my doctor. Nothing cured my sickness. I was sick for about 22 weeks. I couldn't get out of bed, couldn't take a shower, couldn't take care of myself.

But I want to have another baby.

And then labor day came.

There were the white-knuckle contractions, the epidural, the internal checks (youch!), the pushing, the stitches, the drug withdrawals and the recovery. All of a sudden you have this little person in your arms and you say to yourself, "Holy shit! What did we do?" I can only describe the feeling as bittersweet. Your life is like a sea shore when you have a baby - a lot of the old things that you loved about your independence and coupledom washes out to sea and then with the next wave, you are given all of these new, unfamiliar things to explore and enjoy.

Sounds poetic doesn't it?

Well, it's not.

I had some postpartum depression, too. I was overwhelmed, withdrawn, emotional and weepy. I had a baby that needed to be attached to me for one hour, every hour and a half. I had a husband who was feeling the exact opposite of what I was feeling - he was elated, overjoyed, in love with his new family! I felt confused, helpless, and was dealing with my own recovery and the adjustments I now had to make. And this put a damper on what should have been a very special time for us. And I felt guilty about that.

As much as you want things to be equal, the sacrifices, the load of responsibility - they're not. As the mom, you carry the bulk. And I am not talking about how many diapers you both change, or who puts her to bed, etc. The largest load you carry is one that you can't see. There is something primal inside of you that makes you step up and direct your family where it needs to go. Your husband will look to you for guidance, and you will provide it. Your baby will express a need, and you will fill it. It takes some getting used to and it is a MAJOR adjustment.

And then even in light of all of that, I want to have another baby.

I remember walking around the mall, belly in tow, and there would be a mom with like 4 kids raising hell and I thought to myself, "She made that decision 4 times. She is crazy." But I can see why now. My baby is three months old as of tomorrow and once you get through those first couple of months, things are a lot easier. You have mastered getting both of you ready for the day. You enjoy the smiles and the coos. You know she is connecting with you every time you stick your tongues out at each other.  And it feels like it is going too fast.

So, even through all of the sickness, the headaches and heartaches, I want to have another baby. And that's where amnesia comes in. I look at my daughter and say to myself, "Honestly, maybe it wasn't all that bad?" And amnesia answers back, "Nah...it wasn't bad at all!"

- Kim

En-Gorgeous!

So, you have decided to nurse your sweet baby and everything is going ok so far.

You have figured out what positions work best.

She is getting latched on. Nice!

She eats for a FULL hour, but you are using this time to catch up on must-see TV.

And then you wake up and seemingly overnight, you've had a boob job. You look at your husband for answers, but he's been staring at your chest for the past half hour. And then you remember - ah, engorgement.

A few days after your milk comes in, you may go through a period of engorgement. This is caused by increased blood flow to your breasts. Your boobs get H U G E, hard, hot-to-the-touch, sometimes itchy and very sensitive. It can last from a couple of days to over a week. There are a few things you can do to ease the discomfort associated with this very exciting time in your husband's life.

In my post, Breastfeeding 101, I talk about using warm gel patches to help with let down and cool gel patches for after nursing to relieve pain. The gel patches can either be heated (in the microwave) or cooled (in the fridge) depending on what relief you are after. I did both during the engorgement phase and they helped tremendously.

Additionally, a warm shower can offer some of the same relief as the warm gel patches do before you feed your baby and get you some much needed alone time. For the shower, I suggest placing a hand towel or wash cloths over your breasts so that the water stream is not making direct contact with the skin, which can be quite painful. 

Another suggestion is to constantly knead and massage your breasts, especially during feedings. This will prevent clogged ducts that can lead to infection and will also provide some relief. While your baby feeds from one breast, gently massage that breast. If your husband offers to help, feel free to roll your eyes and wave him along.

Feed your baby often. As often as he or she will let you. Some people think that pumping some of the excess off will help, but it may increase your supply beyond what your baby needs (prolonging engorgement), or if your baby is eating every hour and a half (like mine did), you may be undersupplying your little one.

Wear your nursing bra to bed, too. You need 24 hour support. If you are going crazy, you can buy nursing bras designed for sleep that provide the support you need, but are more comfortable. These work very well. I can't guarantee that you will get a whole lot of sleep with a newbie in the house, but at least you won't be throwing your bra out of the window at 2 a.m.!

And remember, like most baby-related nuisances, this will pass.  I remember waking up in the middle of the night crying my eyes out with pain and frustration. It's hard to look ahead to those far off, better days, but they DO come. Hang in there, girl. You will get there.

What to do with your ogling husband? Enjoy it! You've just had a baby and your husband can't take his eyes off of you! Just tell him to keep his hands to himself...serious, those things hurt!

- Kim